ahhh i’ve been checking my email countless times.. but have yet to receive a reply from yogya >< hahaha

anyway, i’m gonna trust in You Lord! haha i shall stop checking my email and focus on studying for next week’s upcoming finals! :D

vsyo dlya tebya isus. :)

alrightey, thank God for providing me with someone to help me along this process! :D

who gave me a contact with a mission organization over in jogja… haha :)

i sent an email to the lady last night… . and i’ve been checking my email several times today for her reply :P haha anyway, i really want to trust God for this :DDD i’ve not felt so uncertain about something like this for quite some time.… hahaha so i guess this is a really good faith step :)

not sure if this will eventually come to pass. . but let’s TRUST GOD! and i know that if it really does it’s entirely by HIS WILL! :)

wahaha. time to document my experience with bahasa indonesia again (sounds a lil strange) haha

shall digress a little from there first. and say that this week is probably the craziest week that i have ever had as a student. i’ve had a test almost EVERYDAY this week. one on monday, two on tuesday, a presentation today (thursday), bahasa indo test tomorrow, programming test on saturday, and a report due the coming monday. haha CRAZY huh? haha thank God for bringing me halfway through it! just wanna carry on with the strength that He gives me! :) vsyo dlya tebya Isus! :D

anyway, my bahasa indonesia oral test was on tuesday. it’s quite exciting considering that this is my first ever indonesian oral test and also my first oral test in a very long while. i really thank God that the dialogue my teacher gave us was something that we could easily relate to (it was about a child convincing her mother to allow her to go on a study tour to yogyakarta! haha :) really really super thank God that it wasn’t about visiting a doctor. haha i would have been lost for words.

before that, i also wanna say thank God for providing me with such nice bahasa indonesian classmates, whom knowing that i’ve not taken the foundation level told me beforehand how the oral exam is conducted. otherwise i wouldn’t even have known how to go about doing it! haha :)))

in addition to the dialogue, there is also a ‘narration’ component in which we have to elaborate on a given topic for three minutes. my friend went first; and after that i had to pick a slip of paper on the table. the topic that i picked was ‘talk about an interesting book/novel that you have read.” when i saw it; i was like D: haha at the same the first book that came to my mind was ………………….. the Bible! :D

haha i asked the two examiners beforehand if it was alright if i talked about the Bible and they said sure :) haha so i did…. try. haha however, i only managed to talk for about two minutes :/ my mind went completely blank in the last minute and just couldn’t conjure anything else to elaborate on further. [despite how much i tried to prepare……. HAHA] (*SIGH* but it’s alright :P)

so after i attempted to talk about the Bible, my friend asked me “which is your favourite story in the Bible?” i said JESUS :D really thank God!! haha oh man. and the coolest part was that i don’t know how i just suddenly attempted to recite John 3:16. [flashback: i attempted to memorize John 3:16 in bahasa indonesia about two months ago. and the verse has quite a number of new words] as such, i couldn’t remember how exactly the verse went…especially towards the end which says “shall not perish…” and also “but have everlasting life” haha. i didn’t know how to say ‘everlasting’ and paused for a while. and the teacher helped me fill in the blank! [the word is kekal :) ] i was like wowww. haha

after the oral test i was really soooooooo excited that i couldn’t concentrate at all for two hours. haha cause i couldn’t stop replaying the scene of my attempt to recite John 3:16. also, i went to look up how exactly the verse goes :D so thank God and i think that i should be able to remember it better now after realizing my mistakes :P

i really thank God for this random opportunity to “share the gospel” in a sense? haha interestingly, my oral test was two days after Easter Sunday :DDDD it was really unexpected; and also in the strangest settings. who would imagine to tell others about Christ during an oral test? haha but thank God that i see His hand intervening more and more in my journey learning indonesian. wow. and this incident strongly reminds me once again why i am even taking bahasa indonesian in the first place. and that really is to TELL OTHERS about CHRIST! :) especially to the indonesian/malay speaking community :) wow. thank God. haha :)

“the grass is greener on the other side.”

i confess that my thoughts so often agree with that over quoted saying above. how often have i ended up hurting myself just by thinking of the things that i lack and which other people have? things that by society’s standards are a given, and yet i am ‘deprived’ of?

always ending up in a whirlpool of self pity thinking of how much i wished i could have this and that (just like the others do) piling up so much stress on myself, thinking of how much i’ve had to strive so much for every single thing; whereas so many people have grown up attaining these things so freely.

so many a times i’ve had these same thoughts. and honestly, it is unhealthy. cause it spells discontentment with this lot that God has given me. jealousy of what other people have.

today was one of those days. and what sparked it off was the realization that i’ve reached the stage in life in which monetary issues start stressing me out. having to pay out of my slowly depleting bank account. and also sponsoring myself for an upcoming trip (that is the most expensive trip that i’ve even been on)

…till i read “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.” -Psalm 23:1

the Lord is my shepherd. and i am His sheep. and the shepherd leads His sheep to grass. and Jesus Christ has led me to this plot of grass. and knowing that He knows what is best for me. .. . why should i even bother looking at what other sheep are chewing/ munching on? when right before me, God has given me the best grass ever. the grass which He knows is best for me. grass that have the very nutritions that He knows i need.

honestly, i must say that the grass tastes quite bitter. but that is possibly because i’ve been so busy comparing what i have with what God has given the other sheep. but Lord, i want to stop this comparing game. i want to “taste and see that the Lord is good” -Psalm 34:8 and Father, truly “blessed is the man who takes refuge in him (You).”

is worrying about your exam after it has ended an act of not trusting God?